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I am a Hufflepuff. And, while perusing tumblr, I found these^^. I'm afraid they may be very true of me. Especially in relation to ARS and CED. I can see the similar way that I reacted to these two people and how I've tried to make changes to my reactions when I compare and contrast them. With ARS, we have cut all ties to each other, which has been rather easy given that there is nowhere for us to interact, geographically or mutual-friendship-wise. But with CED, we are slowly getting back to the interacting phase that comes with being acquaintances. This has been possible through gatherings of mutual friends and club meetings. So, in efforts to not make things turn out so sucky and through unavoidable proximity, I'm a step closer to figuring out how to deal with the ugly side of friendships. But I continue to question my feelings - did I, or rather, do I, really not love these people? Does the fact that I occasionally dwell on these people and thoughts mean I might actually want to reconnect? Or am I just being curious? A part of me wishes ARS and CED could know my thoughts as well and maybe they wouldn't think so negatively of me. But another part of me thinks I shouldn't care and may even revel in knowing that I'm disliked. It's frustrating being human.


I find it hilarious that August '10, I was at my cousin's wedding and then exactly one year later, on the same day, your cousin got married too.


ARS, I have realized that your friends are clique-y. When I hung out with all of you in the city they didn't include me very much. You shouldn't have had to choose whether to pay more attention to me or them. Actually, since I was the new person, you should have been accommodating me instead of worrying about them. But if they were more friendly to new people in general, it shouldn't have been a problem. This is why I love my current group of friends. They are so welcoming to outsiders. When I first joined them, they made me feel included and those are the kind of people I should have been comparing every other group I've tried to be a part of. I shouldn't have to work my way into a group. And neither should you. Yes, we all want our friends to be happy, but we shouldn't have to self-sacrifice to a point that makes us ignore others. I sort of did this to Tie in a way when the three of us met up that time in the city. I suppose she was more of a friend to me than I was to you when she actually had the balls to call me out on it. I was too passive and let things slide when I shouldn't have. I guess this is one way I was responsible for things not working between us.


I've been having weekly encounters with CED since we're in the same club. We're on better terms now despite still not being able to be friends again. I still don't think I want to be friends again at this point. But our ability to talk to each other when we're in the same room has started to make me think about ARS and whether I really still hate her. I think the feeling is slowly fading as time goes by. I don't seem to get quite as angry when I think of her. I feel like I'm at the point where I might reflexively say hi to her if I saw her. She'd just be a familiar face.


Apparently ARS is thinking of moving down to Florida for a bit. She just returned from a vacation down there with a friend. They went to Disney because she's not a big girl yet and doesn't ride roller coasters. *rolls eyes* I wouldn't pay $1300 to go on a bunch of kiddie rides and see people in old costumes. <_< I'll be going down to Florida with the bf and some friends this Friday for a week at a friend's time share and we'll go to Universal Studios. =) It'll be fun.

Writer's Block: Look into my crystal ball

Where do you see yourself in five years or where don’t you see yourself? Why?

In 5 years we will be having a high school reunion. Might be interesting to see ARS there. =x
If you could rule any country, which country would you choose, and why?

I would rule Japan so that I could ban ARS from it forever. And if not Japan, then France so I could ban CED forever. Or maybe I'd just rule the U.S. so that I could make them both disappear forever.

Writer's Block: Upon further review

If you could go back and change one event in your life (or un-say one thing you wish you'd never said), what would you choose, and why?

I would change how I handled breaking the friendship with ARS. I would've gotten my things back first before saying anything. And I would have waited to do it face to face so that my words don't get twisted around and I could actually explain myself better. I definitely would make sure to stand up for myself better and not be such a push over when it came to my feelings and her thinking I was just some cruel liar.


Saw ARS's doppelganger last month. I saw her from the balcony of an auditorium during a friend's graduation and was confused that it might really be her. She was slightly better looking and definitely looked more mature. But seeing recent pics of ARS I'm more sure that it was a doppelganger I saw and not actually her. She still looks like the awkward bumbling child she always was.


Every so often, I will have a dream about ARS. Usually it will consist of awkward encounters and gradual acknowledgment of each others' presence. However, last week, I dreamt that I was back in high school with random classmates and then ARS crawled out of a classroom sobbing that I ruined her life. I didn't know what to say to her so I walked away. =/ I have no idea what this could mean. /=